yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
