Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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