bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
