I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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