I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I wish I only lived at night.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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