So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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