is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
