There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
