'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
