Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
