How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
