We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
These tits shall not be calmed
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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