Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
kristin has been a bad kristin
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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