she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
