Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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