Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He shit in the fireplace
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
