okay pat passed out under dana's car
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
