I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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