the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
