I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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