yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
