I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
