I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
