I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
