u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
