I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
