I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize