i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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