I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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