I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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