I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You pole danced in your parka.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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