Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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