i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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