No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
