How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
