I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
