If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Of course I have a pirate flag
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
