I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
