that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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