I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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