Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
