Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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