In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
