bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
