Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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