Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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