Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I smell like Dick and happiness
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
