He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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