I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
