i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
