YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
