I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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