I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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