They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
