Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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