i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
