Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
