I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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