You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
