Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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