im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
