we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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