Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
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