u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
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He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
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Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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