Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
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An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
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FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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