Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
