I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
