i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
