I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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