My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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