He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
