brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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