Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
