his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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