whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
