Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
