I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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